New Hampshire

I feel like this song is pretty self-explanatory. "New Hampshire" is about hating someone you still love. It’s about hearing a song on the radio they love and you turn it off. Instead of driving by someone’s house after a breakup, you swear you’ll never drive down their road or go to their home state. How you’re afraid you’ll never love anyone the same way again because they ruined your trust. It’s about throwing their shit in the dumpster if they leave it in your living room. It’s about demanding respect even after you think you lost it. 



Why Did U Lie

"Why Did U Lie" is basically my villain origin story. This song is me screaming at someone who made me feel small. In typical narcissist behavior, they built me up to tear me down and this is me grabbing my unhinged femininity and burning their house down.



Radio Silence

"Radio Silence" is my emo Alanis moment. It’s angry but also slightly pathetic. It’s me grasping for some self-respect before completely losing it. It’s about how there’s always that one person who no matter how terrible they treat you, you would answer when they called. You would drive to their house in the middle of the night. How you want so badly to be able to let go of this person and have some self-respect but they have some weird spell on you that you wish you could break. 


I Thought We Were Happy

"I Thought We Were Happy" was written at a time when I really wanted to understand why someone would leave.  It came after a breakup where I was completely blindsided. I felt like I was doing the work I should to keep the relationship going but I was also going through a dark period where I wanted to be supported. You know how they say sometimes relationships are 50/50 and sometimes 70/30 or 30/70 effort. I was doing the best I could with what emotional space I had and I felt as though I was taken for granted and discarded.

The song is me pleading and begging and trying to understand why someone who I thought loved me would hurt me in a time when I was so vulnerable. Musically the song represents a timeline of someone in the pleading/mourning phase who heads into a space in time where they think they will completely fall apart (where they are fighting with themselves to let go) without this person but in the end, when they are about to hit rock bottom, they land on their own feet and find out that they can save themselves. That they are their own savior.

Paul (Moak) and I are pretty big nerds so our process in the studio started with a lot of talking. I tend to do that in my life in general, talk to people about the deep and dark. We spoke about the themes in this song and on this record at length. The repetitive nature of the lyrics and melody really let us have the creative freedom on the track to create this self-savior imagery.